What happened when I finally admitted my phone addiction was stealing more than just my time.

I walked into 2026 with a renewed sense of what I needed: habits that would make me feel good about myself, routines that actually served me. I've always been a dreamer and a doer, but somewhere along the way, I'd become someone who was doing too much and accomplishing too little. Nothing was getting done because I was scattered.

If I wanted something different, I was going to have to do something different.

First, I had to start with being honest with myself about where I was falling short. My relationship with focus and discipline needed work. And I knew exactly where to start.

"Hello, my name is Ashlee, and I'm addicted to my phone."

It's these damn phones.

What began as a need to stay informed quickly spiraled into chasing headlines and dopamine hits. I would doomscroll through an endless feed of anxiety-inducing content, only to surface feeling more anxious and completely empty.

Maybe you've been there too. Reaching for your phone the second you wake up. Checking notifications while brushing your teeth. Picking up your phone for one thing and somehow ending up on TikTok twenty minutes later, wondering how you even got there.

I knew this urge was impacting my entire life. Ironically, during one of those very doomscrolls, I saw others sharing how much social media had warped their focus and how they, too, wanted to change their relationship with it. I wasn't alone in this struggle.

My husband recommended Stolen Focus by Johann Hari. A year ago, actually. Because of course he did. He saw what I couldn't see yet. But some things take time to realize, and I needed to arrive at that realization on my own terms.

When I finally picked it up, I started reading it on a whim, not expecting much. The first chapter hit me like a wake-up call I didn't know I needed. Johann laid out exactly how our attention is being systematically stolen, how the constant fragmentation of our focus isn't a personal failing but a designed outcome.

I had to change something immediately.

The Sleep Experiment

I decided to start with the most intimate part of my day, which is sleep.

I was going to remove my phone from my bedroom entirely. Matter of fact, all electronics, even my Apple Watch.

I was skeptical. What if I needed my phone for an emergency? What if I couldn't fall asleep without the distraction? What if I just laid there, alone with my thoughts and the uncomfortable quiet?

Before this shift, my bedtime routine was a battlefield. I'd scroll through Instagram, Threads, and TikTok. Play a very addictive puzzle game then scroll some more. It would take over an hour to fall asleep, that blue light hijacking any chance I had at actual rest.

The first night without my phone in the room? I slept through the entire night for the first time in months.

I woke up feeling rested in a way I hadn't experienced in years. My body didn't ache from tension. My mind wasn't already racing through notifications before my eyes fully opened.

I was shocked but not entirely convinced. So I did it again. And again. Each night, I experienced deep, uninterrupted, restorative sleep.

Again, it's these damn phones.

Going Radical

Because I walked into 2026 with renewed habits, I knew I had to take it further.

I know what you're thinking. The sleep thing is one thing, but deleting apps? That feels extreme, but here's what I realized my relationship with social media wasn't healthy enough for moderation. I needed a reset.

So I deleted TikTok. Removed LinkedIn and Facebook from my phone. Significantly reduced my time on Instagram and Threads. If I'm trying to be my own dream woman, things have to change radically.

Thanks to Stolen Focus, I discovered the Freedom app, a free tool designed to block apps and improve focus and productivity. I set up time blocks throughout the day that force all social media apps to shut down on my devices (even my laptop so you know I’m not playing), creating pockets of uninterrupted focus.

You may be thinking, Ash, is it that serious?

When you realize how much time we spend in front of screens (nothing will startle you like looking at your iPhone Screen Time) and not enough time with our loved ones, our hobbies, pursuing our goals, meeting new people, or experiencing the fullness and beauty of life, then yes, it becomes that serious.

The constant feeling of being scattered isn't random. Your attention is being robbed by these social media platforms. And getting it back requires intentional, sometimes radical, action.

Books for Bedtime

My nightstand tells the story of my transformation: a traditional alarm clock, my journal, and whatever book I'm currently devouring. No phone. No smartwatch. Just pages and rest.

Just these simple changes have revamped my night and morning routines. I'm 30 days in, and I now wake up and don't even touch my phone until it's time to head to the gym or go for my morning run. Some mornings, I don't check it until after 8 am.

Let me say that again: I don't check my phone for over two hours after waking up.

The woman who used to scroll before her eyes were fully open wouldn't recognize me.

I've added other habits too. I'm moving my body twice a day now, not because I'm punishing myself, but because I actually want to. I'm reading for a minimum of 30 minutes from actual physical books, no audiobooks. This isn't shade to those who enjoy audiobooks, but I'm in a battle to get my attention back, and I always found myself "listening to audiobooks" while doing other things. I wanted to be fully devoted to something again.

I'm sticking to my 6 am wake-up calls and getting to bed no later than 10 pm (though 9:30 pm is the sweet spot). In these 30 days, I've finished three books. Three. Before, I was lucky to finish one book.

Here's the Thing

Thirty days don't make me an expert. It doesn't mean I've got this all figured out.

But what it does mean is that I'm learning what it feels like to be present in my own life again.

To read a book without my phone buzzing next to me. To have a conversation without the urge to check notifications. To wake up without immediately downloading someone else's anxiety into my mind. To fall asleep without battling blue light for rest.

My energy is different. My focus is sharper. My sleep is deeper. I'm calmer, more grounded, more myself.

This is what it looks like when you decide you want something different and you're willing to do something different to get it.

It starts with honesty, but it continues with discipline, and somewhere in there, you find focus again.

If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in my story, start small. Tonight, charge your phone outside your bedroom. Just once and see what happens. Notice how you feel when you wake up.

And here's something I didn't expect: I've learned to be bored again. To sit with myself without reaching for distraction. To let my mind wander without panic. It's uncomfortable at first, but there's something powerful about reclaiming that space. (Stay tuned for more on that. I have thoughts.)

Because the version of yourself that's waiting on the other side of this shift? She's worth it.

What's one habit you'd change if you knew it would transform your life?